Reply to How to deal with teenage a-holery?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "How to deal with teenage a-holery?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We went through similar. I’m not sure anything worked perfectly. But we took away the phone, the weekend plans with friends, as consequences. Maybe go full silent treatment until she apologizes for her actions. Does she at least get good grades? If so hold onto that. [/quote]

She gets excellent grades.  I don't believe a silent treatment is the best way to handle.  She will never give a sincere apology in her life, I'm pretty sure of that.  She seems incapable of taking any responsibility for her actions.

I have occasionally given consequences to her.  They are either ineffective, or they just exacerbate the issues.  She doesn't seem to care about anything.  She never spends time or talks with any friends. She could care less about a phone or friends, or weekend plans. [/quote]

I would get her evaluated for depression.  Sometimes it doesn't present as sadness, it presents as anger or irritability.[/quote]

We have scheduled an appointment with a therapist for her.  But until then, what can we do in the meantime?[/quote]

A therapist won't be able to diagnose anything or prescribe medication.  I would get a mental health screening from her pediatrician.

In the interim, you acknowledge that this is a problem that is beyond you, you hold your boundary and don't escalate.  Protect your other kids from her nastiness.  Try to make sure she is sleeping and eating enough and is well hydrated.  Just try to get by until you can get some help.[/quote]

Also, the other thing to try in the interim is exercise and more time out of the house and away from family.  If you can arrange it, have her do some sort of sport or dance or volunteer work.[/quote]

I totally agree with you.  I have been trying to get her to exercise - even something as a simple as a walk, either on her own or with me, but she refuses.  There is one exercise class we basically drag her to every week, kicking and screaming, but we refuse to let her give it up because otherwise she would do nothing and refuses to do any other physical activity.  We have been unsuccessful with getting her to do other activities. Straight up refuses. As much as she says she hates us, she only wants to be at home only feels safe here.  She hates school even more.  [/quote]

This is extreme behavior.
Has she always been like this?[/quote]

Which part?  To some extent she's been like this since she was born. Now that she's a teen, I think she realizes that there's really nothing we can absolutely force her to do and so she's digging her heels in. [/quote]

Refusal to go outside, school, or leave the house. Refusing to eat, sleep, or talk when angry.[/quote]

She hasn't refused school yet, but I'm really afraid that might be next.  It's the first time she's refused to talk to us for days.  She used to love the outside, so that is new too.  I feel like we are at the very beginning cusp of refusing to eat and sleep, but she's always denied these are actual needs in her. [/quote]

Yeah, this definitely sounds like major depression and anxiety, maybe some PTSD. She needs to be medicated. Unfortunately mine is similar, is 23 now and doesn’t take her meds so we still walk on eggshells when she is around. It’s awful and I am dreading Christmas. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics