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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think the comment on its own is NBD. But if she’s subtly implying she’s got a better childcare set up frequently like you seem to think, it’s going to be hard to be friends.

I remember a few moms who I guess were insecure or something and talked about how amazing their nanny was and how fantastic it was for their kid etc. and i was always biting my tongue so hard because those nanny’s spent a lot of time looking at their phone…it was sort of like that wife who is talking about how hot their balding chubby husband is and how so many women are flirting with him.

I was good with our decision to do daycare though we staggered our hours so it wouldn’t be a super long day. [/quote]

I had a similar experience. A good friend of mine made a big deal when she went back to work, saying that it didn't make sense for moms to stay home because they lack experience with "childhood development" and that's why she had gotten her child a professional nanny. I was a SAHM at the time (stayed home for the first couple years) and her words really stung at the time because I'd *just* made the decision to stay home and was still feeling unsure about it.

Then I used to see her kid with her nanny all the time at the library and the playground and even had them over to my house several times for playdates, and I completely stopped feeling bad about it. Her nanny was fine but no better than a SAHM. She spent a lot of time on her phone or gossiping with other nannies, which most nannies do. She was also good with my friend's daughter and clearly caring. It worked out because my friend wanted to go back to work and have her child well cared for, but their situation as not "better" than mine, just different.

People often project their insecurities by acting overconfident in their choices. A lot of the parenting choices that women get competitive order don't even have a clearly right and clearly wrong side -- it's just about what works for your family and sometimes what resources are available to you. People will try to assert they made all the right choices or give way more info about their thought process because they want the validation of someone saying "oh yeah, you did it the right way." But there is no right way with most of this stuff. If you are well off enough to be in a community where things like sleep training, working or staying home, having a nanny or using a daycare, are debatable choices, then you are already better off than like 99% of the global population and your kids will be fine. You have to get over yourself.[/quote]

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