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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You mean the world to your mom and dad. Don't break their hearts.[/quote]

I really, really don't. They barely think of me. My dad, in particular, has absolutely no attachment to me whatsoever.[/quote]

Maybe he had some mental disorders like Asperger’s/ autism and really could not connect with people or do things.

Look it up, there are support groups and it’s eye opening to realize that may have been what you were going through: an AS/NT parent child relationship, where few of your needs were being met [/quote]

Other people may have experienced it, but it doesn't fix it. Once you've had a childhood where you are unloved by your parents, that's just baked in for the rest of your life. You can't undo it.[/quote]

I disagree, yes, she can. She can try. It is hard and a long road, but it is never too late to start building confidence and positive self-esteem, and to turn around how you feel. It is not easy to move to a secure attachment style, but people can try.

I'll give an example of never giving up, I went to do a sport bcs a friend wanted company. I was not interested in this particular sport. A few weeks after taking lessons with a friend, and not being good at this sport at all, she found out she was pregnant and had to stop. I was about to stop too, but then something said in me, why, why can't I do this on my own? Do I depend on her, and why am I quitting and saying I can't do this? Why can't I do it? I continued with this sport for years to follow and became really good at it. You can call it defiance, stubbornness, or even spite.

If you change your mindset to something like this, and say, yes I can, and try and try, such as I don't know, yoga, cooking, small things, if you think about what you did today, you will realize that you probably did a lot of good and lovely things.

It is not easy, and the above pp is correct to a degree, but giving up is worse than trying. People are not their weight, their college degree, their job; people are all the same, full of insecurities, pride, ego, wins and losses. Once you accept that we are all great and weak at the same time, things might change for you. [/quote]

You can work on your confidence and self esteem.

You cannot change the fact that you had a childhood of neglect/abuse. The PP before said "oh well maybe your dad had undiagnosed Asperger's and couldn't show emotion or connect. But that doesn't change the fact of the neglect (or abuse if there was abuse). Young children require nurturing and loving caregivers. A person who was deprived of that as a child will always have to deal with that loss.

Saying "you can fix it" is like telling someone whose parents died "you can bring them back." No, you cannot. It is what it is. [/quote]

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