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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think being estranged for the reasons you describe is dumb and overdramatic and that there are a lot of therapists out there convincing people to break ties with loved ones over feelings that at the end of the day are really invalid and don't merit such dramatic action.

Really? You're going to stop talking to parents because you thought they were "emotionally unavailable?" And you think you're the mature one? What idiot therapist suggested you do that?

Now, I'm going on your word here that there was no actual abuse. That's a different story. But, my GOD, the navel gazing with some young people today. Because, yes, what you're describing is an inevitable paradox of being so self-centered. "Boohoo, you didn't validate my feelings enough when I was a child so I'm to call you on it and if you don't fulfill your role in my little fantasy to my satisfaction even if it hurts your own feelings, I'm going to cut you off."

Talk about emotional manipulation.[/quote]

Having emotionally unavailable parents itself is very very painful, you don't know because you never experienced it.  It is like drowning and crying for your parents to give you a hand and pull you up, but they watch you and sat there in silence.  [/quote]

Or, you're like an endless vat of need and no amount of validation would ever be enough. You're still acting like this as an adult.

Yes, they have their own emotions and needs. It's almost like you've just realized this for the first time.

"Emotionally unavailable." That's usually a defense mechanism when someone is an emotional vampire. The petulance of estrangement for this is beyond the pale. Get help for your own defects and stop blaming others.[/quote]

OP here, I think you have some valid points, I can see that some children are emotionally needy.  But you need to know there valid situations where the parents are horrible parents that lack the emotional capacity to love their children or anyone.  [/quote]

Is it capacity to love or capacity to love how you wanted to be loved? I don't think it's the same. My parents were neglectful in some ways, but I also know they love me. To me loving my children = not being neglectful in any way (probably to a fault, I do too much!) as a reaction to that. But I acknowledge my parents love me very much and thought how they acted was fine and normal even though it wasn't. The most I have gotten from them has been a (not prompted by me) small admission of regret over one of those neglectful instances, which funnily enough did not register as being a big one to me.[/quote]

This is insane. You are trying to argue that people who come from abusive families or families where they weren't loved is just a matter of a person feeling they didn't get loved the way they wanted to be loved?

This is fing ridiculous. What a bunch of horse shite. [/quote]

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