Reply to Are all the good men really taken by early thirties?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I met my STBX while in med school at age 28. The quality of men was already going down. We didn’t marry for a while and I had thoughts in my early 30s about going down a different path, but he was honestly the best of some really bad options.

[b]In hindsight, I would tell myself and anyone I know that if you are on the market at 29/30 and want kids, it’s better to double down on your career and by a single mom by choice.[/b]

The truly good guys had things wrapped up and were tied down by 25/26. [/quote]
I met my STBX at age 26 shortly after graduating law school and while working at a big law firm. I completely agree with you. Marrying was a huge mistake. I had so much going for me that this horrible man systematically pried from my fingers by simply refusing to do his share with the children and letting me get burnt out. I hope he burns in hell, but I advise any woman who has achieved a nice career for herself to understand that she is in the promised land.

For millennia, women married because that was the way to feed themselves and because they were traded like property. Now, we don't have to deal with men in order to survive and thrive anymore. Resist the propaganda about two-parent families. Most married families still have just one parent: the mom and the father is an appendage at best.

If you're able to achieve and feed yourself well, don't add some man to the mix. [/quote]

This is so much easier to accept in your 40s than in your 20s and 30s when you are going to all your friends’ weddings and baby showers every weekend.  We are all socialized to idealize getting married and having babies and no one idealizes being single and having a great career and a great life— even though in my own life I have seen the latter more than the former.[/quote]
You are exactly right. The social pressure is immense in that late 20s to early 30s age, as is the stigma that suggests something is wrong with you if you haven't "landed" some man. It's awful. We as women need to help each other resist it. Instead, we're more often found giving tips on how to end up wasted on some man as soon as possible. [/quote]

Don't forget all the Hallmark movies about the career woman coming back to her hometown for the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays and throwing away her career to shack up with the still single wealthy town hunk. Ugh. More messaging telling women that their goal should be glitter and photo albums as a man's appendage.[/quote]

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