Reply to Oprah podcast on estranged families

Forum Index » Entertainment and Pop Culture

Reply to "Oprah podcast on estranged families"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks, OP, I didn't know about this but will definitely check this out. I found Lindsay Gibson's books really life changing so that's enough to get me interested.

I am not estranged from my parents. In fact, I credit Gibsons books with helping me figure out a way to maintain a relationship with them without sacrificing my own mental health or cutting them off entirely. However, my sister *is* estranged from them.

Related to the golden child dynamic OP raises, here's a twist: my sister was absolutely the golden child in our family (4 kids) and I think that's why she wound up going NC. Being a golden child in a dysfunctional family can lead to really bad enmeshment, which is what happened with my sister, and it became very hard for her to start untangling that once she recognized how unhealthy it was. So I think she's gone NC largely because she could not find better ways to set boundaries.

I think it has been easier for me to set boundaries because, as one of four, I was largely ignored as a child and into adulthood. That has had some pretty significant negative impacts on me (thus how I wound up reading multiple books on emotional neglect) but I think it offered a short cut to figuring out to set better emotional boundaries with my family. My parents and I are not close, but they are in my life, we see each other sometimes, and my own child has affectionate feelings towards them (feelings I facilitate by ensuring we don't spend enough time with them for DD to get drawn into their drama).[/quote]

Interesting. Is your sister the eldest? Wondering if it's not exactly "golden," but more eldest daughter syndrome. That she's golden because she takes care of everyone?

I'm going to look at the book, thanks and to OP for starting this thread. [/quote]

No she's not the oldest but she is the eldest daughter. She doesn't/didn't take care of us or our parents. She was the golden child because she was a cheerleader in high school and on the homecoming court, and because she got married and had kids before the rest of us, and had the most kids. These are things my parents greatly value because it made them look good to their peers. It's definitely golden child.[/quote]

Thanks for answering. It's weird for a true golden child to go no contact, isn't it?

I'm sorry you're going through this, too. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics