Reply to Is there any expectation on a family member who stays “postpartum”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom informed me "I'm not coming over to cook and clean when you have an able bodied husband sitting there who can do all that. I just want to see the baby." I guess she has a point but I was swimming in PPD and just needed help.[/quote]

As if the baby’s father doesn’t want to also bond with the baby during what is probably a one week unpaid parental leave? What a B. [/quote]

+1. Also my DH was eager to help me during that time but he was (1) also exhausted, as he was doing nighttime wake ups as well and he'd also, like me, been awake for 48 hours at the hospital during my labor and was just wiped out, and (2) was also adjusting to the reality of being a dad and feeling overwhelmed and could have used a steady hand being like "here, I will make everyone peanut butter toast." Like no one was expecting a gourmet meal or to have the house cleaned top to bottom. We just needed literally anyone to be like "here, let me help with with that, I know this is a lot." Anyone.

My single biggest regret was not hiring a postpartum doula to basically come and be this person. I was worried about the expense (in retrospect I would have paid 4x what it cost and not cared if it meant I had to scrimp and save elsewhere) and also dissuaded by a friend who had done it and said it was weird having a stranger in the house.

I would have LOVED a stranger in the house if she'd been helpful and caring as opposed to entitled and rude. Huge upgrade over the immediate family members we had who didn't seem to care about either of us at all.[/quote]

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