Reply to Prenup or no Prenup?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Friend was an early software engineer at Google. Moved to CA after college with his girlfriend, and they eventually got married. When Google went public in 2004, he became instantly wealthy, ~$28M. Due to his insane work schedule, he got divorced 2 years later, and she took $14M.

If you think that is reasonable, you don't need a prenup. If you think that is unjust, then get a prenup.

[/quote]

This is a great example of a values litmus test.

Here I think what's unreasonable is that you would divorce somebody you loved for not seeing them very much.

The millions seem more like a windfall/luck and neither would be harmed by splitting up $28M into $14M.  I don't think they needed a prenup.

Elon Musk's first wife wrote an article about her life as Elon's first wife.  She found the prenup process/pressure from his investors very ugly and upsetting.  She was put under a lot of pressure from people who were more concerned about their financial investment in the company than the health of her marriage.

And as we now see, no amount of money makes up for choosing a toxic spouse.  The impact on her kids' lives is permanent.  They literally find out about new siblings randomly from social media.

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And in case of Musk I believe none of his exes got windfalls. It's super easy for uber wealthy to show negative income year by year, own no assets on paper (Musk lives in a trailer on dirty mattress), and hide assets in offshore trusts.

My exH lives in a $6m mansion in NW  DC all on his own. He makes no money in the US, I couldn't even take him to court for child support. He is an executive at a foreign company and it would cost me millions in lawyers fees to get measly child support

Watch the move "All  Good Things". In my experience, wealthy men use money as a tool to control. I don't date uber rich for that reasons: our values would be way too different. NOT singing the prenup is the best thing a lower earning spouse can do for their future standing in marriage and for the security of their kids.

Prenups can also be "staggered": expire when kids are born, guaranteeing a higher share in joint assets with duration of marriage etc.

Maybe $14m after 3 years of marriage with no kids is too much: but it's not like the husband earned working hard all this money.He likely was just skilled enough and lucky to be in the right place at a right time in this tech economy. And we don't know the role of his ex-wife in that. Some wives actually are part of businesses and ideas that made these businesses great 
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