Reply to Is reconcilation a unicorn?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is reconcilation a unicorn?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a woman who posted on here several times about her reconciliation that I think about whenever I see a thread on cheating (yes I read this forum too much).

[b]Her prisoner/husband cheated[/b] and then did EVERYTHING she wanted to save the marriage.  This means that he quit his job and now works remote, she has full access to his phone at any time, they signed a post-nup agreement, he had a vasectomy I think, therapy, AND he does more chores and she now has free time to herself and there are clear boundaries in the marriage.  She insists that they are both so happy now and have regular lunchtime sex and he will be out if he ever cheats again but he never would because he has had therapy and is happy.

Just leave.  Just keep your dignity and leave.[/quote]

My DH was very remorseful when I confronted him about cheating.  "If you could just be with me 24/7, I wouldn't cheat again."  He started going to AA and would get someone there to "sign a sheet" that he could show me to prove he went to AA.  He would tell me he was going to the therapist and showing me when he refilled his medications.  It was all elaborate theater.

I didn't want to have to check his phone, or the credit card bills or put a key logger on the computer or keep track of the mileage in the car or search all the drawers, closets and compartments in the house and cars, or secretly mark the liquor bottles or keep track of the number of pills in my prescription medications.  These are all the ways that I found out that he was lying to me.  I declined to be, as PP so succinctly put it..... "his jailer".  It is not my job keep my intimate partners from cheating. Life is short and I do not want to invest my time in a guy who has to be kept on a leash.  If I'm going to wonder if a partner is cheating, let me at least have the joy of wondering about someone who has never previously been unfaithful to me, or, the relief of not having to wonder because I have chosen not to be partnered. Either of those would be far more joyful a life than living as a cheating partners jailer or wondering when he would cheat again and whether anything he says is truthful. 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics