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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From Malcolm Gladwell - there are a lot of MIT Business majors that started as STEM majors. You judge yourself with those around you - at top tier school you are likely at the bottom.  He gave an example of a [b]Brown Bio major who dropped out but in retrospect she  thought if she went to UMD she'd have a PHD in the field. [/b]
  [/quote]
Likely the other way around. [/quote]

I was going to say, why didn't she just go to slacker UMD and skate her way to that PhD?[/quote]

The bad news is that a PhD at a less-prestigious institution is just as much work as at a more prestigious one, but with far less chance of getting an academic job afterwards.[/quote]

Switch majors after your freshman year, though, and there’s a 0% chance you’ll get an academic job in the field.

That’s what Gladwell is talking about: if a kid who would be 25th percentile at Brown but 75th percentile at UMD goes to Brown, they get four years of discouragement and negative feedback, even though they’re objectively one of the best (that’s how they got into Brown) and would have been recognized as such at UMD. Not a lot of people have the [b]emotional resilience[/b] to take four years of constant discouragement without getting thoroughly discouraged.

Getting into reaches feels great. Attending them is often a different story. [/quote]

This is what it’s all about - resilience!

I went from being a huge fish in a shallow pond to being a huge fish among other huge fish at a T10 school.

It took me an entire year (and many B- and C+ grades, back when there was a B- curve) to realize I was underprepared on the executive function / time management front.

Until college, I didn’t know what I didn’t know in terms of the PROCESS of keeping up with a heavy workload without external prompts. It was a very stressful first year (though FUN because I was using my time for that 😂) and I struggled with self doubt quite a bit. But I got a tutor for math second semester, and she also helped me learn how to structure my time. It was a lifesaver, and I did better each semester after that.

My DS is similar to me, and this is already on his radar screen. No, he does not love school or do anything beyond what’s necessary. But he’s struggled with EF and is learning that he can make it work if he follows a schedule.

Not sure how it will go in college, but I do think he’s internalized the resilience piece. He’s felt the struggle quite a few times over the years and has chosen to hunker down and get himself out of the hole, rather than shut down. So I’m hopeful ….

That’s what I would consider if I were you:

Is your DS fully aware that this is something he needs to focus on, rather than try to glide through freshman year?

Has he had experienced feeling the pain of his EF mistakes and the power/resilience that comes with battling back rather than shutting down or giving up?

And finally, is he willing and able (!) to seek help in college - a tutor, regular meetings with an academic advisor, or visits to the writing center for feedback five days before a paper is due etc.?

Kids mature at different times, and boys can be slower on the EF front. But I wouldn’t necessarily shy away from a reach if he gets in. With proven resilience and the right structure in place, he could do great![/quote]

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