Reply to Everyone with NT kids has it figured out about how to raise a kid with special needs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A preschool teacher once suggested that I "simply explain to him that it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hurt people". And I was like, I get that you think this is good advice, but maybe consider that if I've asked my pediatrician, my mother, my mother in law, and all my friends, and am at the point of admitting to the preschool teacher that my 5yo still bites me and I need help, it's probably a safe assumption that we already tried "telling him not to".

Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don't cry.[/quote]

I’m a (general ed) teacher, and this is hard to read. We don’t know why they’re hitting and biting, you don’t know why either, we’re all just throwing up our hands and saying we can’t stop it, and meanwhile I have 25 other kids to protect? If you think you’re powerless
to get a message through to your child, imagine how much more powerless a teacher is when your child is only one of 25.[/quote]

Actually my child was still able to mask at this point and didn't have behavior problems at school. I was asking for advice to help with home. It didn't bother me that she didn't know what we should do. As a gen ed teacher she had no more relevant training than I did (actually probably less because I had some relevant college coursework). It was just the idea that we had been working on this problem for years and hadn't already tried explaining the expectation to him and that doing this would solve the issue that I found amusing/aggravating.

No one was throwing up their hands and doing nothing. We were trying to figure out what was going on. We had to use the medical system because the school didn't see an educational impact so waitlists were long. He is now diagnosed and medicated. I hope that's reassuring to you. [/quote]

NP, and I had the exact same experience with my son. Well, not exactly but very similar. My son masked very well at school, we didn’t have a diagnosis yet, and at home I was drowning. I was entirely unable to figure out what was happening, why messages weren’t getting through to my son, and when I confided in someone at the school they literally said “[name] would NEVER behave like that anywhere!! What do you mean you need help?!?”

It was the most demoralized I ever felt in our efforts to figure out what was happening. This was years ago now, and my son is thriving, but man those years were hell and I would never do them again. [/quote]

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