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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I'll also add that she has now said that she is being demonized by our family and is not coming to Thanksgiving with her children.

I was asked to host everyone at my home several months ago, because it's too hard for my parents to host her and her multiple, boisterous kids & dog.  There's no where else we could all fit & as it is, my parents/other sister need to rent a place.  It would have been 20 people, so it requires a lot of planning.

I have a playset in my backyard, trails behind my home, I've been working for months on preparing my home (with completing various home projects, getting some extra folding tables, thoughtfully planning out the table setting (trying to keep it cheap, but really pretty), and I've planned out specific family activities that we can all do so it can be a really fun, special time.

I've been working for weeks on finishing painting/organizational/decorative projects entirely myself, so it looks beautiful to host, just to have her do this.  She has done this a lot in the past, where if you don't agree with her 100% or if you aren't vocal enough about how much you support her, she flips out, creates a very dramatic scene, and will cut out her family for 6 months, a year....[/quote]

OP just STOP.  No one asked you to paint your house or decorate or any of that for months on end. They asked for dinner. She’s not coming so move on and be thankful for the blessing of that. 
Don’t go to the wedding. Full stop. 
Dont invite niece to Europe. Everything seems like SO MUCH all the time with you and them. 
You are starting to go in martyr territory. Just. Stop. [/quote]

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