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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Was she a joy to raise because she was an easy child? [/b]

Just listen. See what she has to say. [/quote]

I'm the PP here with the abusive father. My dad would say to me and my sister all the time that we were "such joys to raise as kids and teens, so I don't understand why you guys are rebelling against me now as adults!"

Of course, we were very easy kids and teens (hard not to be when your father yells at you and hits you whenever you misbehave), so the moment we went off of our father's desires for us as adult children was the moment he viewed us as "failures" and people who were "no longer joys to be around."[/quote]

To the poster with the abusive father, I just want you to know you are not alone, and this thread triggers me quite a bit. my mother was abusive and would say and do the same as your father. I was a joy as kid because I was her personal therapist and verbal punching bag and I played the game, people pleased, got top grades, stayed thin, and tried to meet her every wish. Dad intervened when her abuse got out of control. After he passed away my husband became quite ill and I could not play the roll she had in mind. I have letters/emails and texts lamenting how I was "such a joy to raise" and how she doesn't understand how I became such a "bitter, nasty, ungrateful, and selfish b." Keep in mind I have not returned any of her abuse. I took the high road, but simply made it clear no more abuse would be tolerated. She had no concern for her SIL or grandkids. She was healthy and independent, yet it was all about what I owed her and the fact her needs were not being met.

I know this situation has it's own differences, but yes, I too am seeing many trigger responses and things coming from OP that remind me of my mother, but I applaud OP for getting therapy. My mother would not do that when I was younger. As an adult when I didn't fall into line she told me I needed therapy because I was too rebellious (as a middle age married woman who simply said "no" to her.) When I told her I was getting therapy she demanded the person's phone number so she could tell her, her side of the story. I never said I mentioned her in therapy, but she threw a tantrum and then stopped talking to me when I would not supply the number. [/quote]

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