Reply to Any shared insights / lessons learned on designing best-for-kids custody situations

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You may not get a lot of answers, [b]there are some pretty nasty posters who tend to see children as objects/posessions instead of people. Anything less than 50/50 and the custodial parent is evil, blah blah. [/b]
I strongly encourage you to put your kids need for stability and consistency first. Give them a voice in the matter. This will change as time goes on, and be flexible and respectful. [/quote]

I have observed this here on DCUM. Is it just an absolute belief that there is high value in ensuring exactly identical time between parents?

If you have a situation where pre-divorce, Parent 1 is gone most of the workweek and has meaningful interactions with children largely on weekends, and Parent 2 runs the household during the week and then shares these meaningful interactions with Parent 1 on the weekends, what exactly is the value in altering that dynamic? I see responses here say that 20-30% is so low that the children will never have a meaningful relationship with the lower percentage parent. Why? I spent multiples the amount of time with my mom than I did with my dad under the age of 18, and I had and still have an amazing relationship with both of them.

Divorce is already tough enough on everyone. Now we are being told that someone also has to quit their job so they can take care of the kids 50/50, or that a family should sell their family home and move out of a community their kids have grown up in so that the parents can live somewhere close together and lower the standard of living for both households so it's equal?[/quote]

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