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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Trying to quit or cut down on drinking due to all the usual middle aged reasons. After a long, stressful workday, I really want a drink. What do others use as a reward/destresser/transition from the workday?

I have heard going for a walk, but that does not cut it for me![/quote]

You have to switch your mindset and “reframe” your end of day ritual.

Nobody needs or deserves a “reward” for getting through every workday.

I don’t. You don’t. No one does.

That’s the kind of twisted thinking that feeds addiction.

I don’t doubt for a second that your days are super stressful! I totally believe that you come home exhausted, wrung out, and frazzled. I’ve been there so many times!

What you need when you get home - or even better yet, on your way home - is a TRANSITION ritual. Something you do each day to mentally let go of the day and open up space for your evening.

It’s not a reward, though. So there’s no “excuse” do do something like drinking that you know is bad for your body and mind.

For me, when I was commuting, it was listening to the same couple of songs at the end of my commute home. They were slow-medium paced and slightly cheesy, because that was my jam for some reason. Lol. Over time they became almost a lullaby - a ritual to signal I was putting down my day and leaving it there before I entered my home. (In the beginning, I really had to visualize the “putting it down” thing while I listened. But pretty soon it was automatic- those songs triggered the letting go feeling. They still do.)

Now, I come home and pet my cat. Silly but simple. He’s always happy to see me when I get home, and I focus on that. Even when DH and the kids are there - I take a few minutes of “cat time.”

Again, it’s not a reward. It’s a transition ritual - a signal to my nervous system to slow down. There’s a mindfulness to it - petting the cat slowly and calmly, really focusing on the feel of his fur and the sound and feeling of his purring, and feeling my body and mind finally come to rest rest after a crazy day. And then I leave the mental load there when I stand up.

You could easily try this with a few stretches when you get home. Or mindfully making yourself a cup of herbal tea. Or something else that is physically simple and soothing that you can use to slow your breathing and focus your mind.

But most importantly, we do not need or deserve a reward for “doing life.” That is a belief that addicts use to justify destructive behavior. Swap that thought out for something else and you’re already halfway there.

Good luck! 
[/quote]

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