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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a family member who projects her feelings onto others. I have seen this trait in her for years and have mostly distanced myself and ignored it. For instance, when her dad died, she took it extremely hard, so she assumed I was feeling the same when my dad passed. I wasn't. I loved my dad, but I have experienced death enough to know how to manage emotions, grieve, and move on. However, she can't accept that as normal. She sends scriptures, "thinking of you" messages on his birthday and death anniversary, and makes assumptions despite my telling her how I feel.

I am furloughed, and she sent a grocery gift card saying," I sent this because I know you will say you are okay, even when you aren't." It annoyed me more than anything, because I am financially and otherwise okay. She could have benefited a charity with her giving rather than me. I promptly donated it.

On the surface, her ways seem loving. However, I don't think they come from a place of goodwill; more like wanting to see/find something wrong. I am very limited with what I share with most people, so her actions come across as prying to see what will stick.

Should I continue ignoring her, or once again tell her I am fine? I am a strong, self-reliant person, and this seems to bother her. [/quote]

You forgot to mention you are selfish. She is doing these things for her own mental health. Let her!! It might be the best gift you give her - feeling needed.  You don’t have to tell her anything personal or divulge your personal life. You simply say “your kind words are so thoughtful”, “I received your basket. Thank you for thinking of me”.  Is it so hard to be gracious- no - in fact, it’s really easy.[/quote]

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