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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a person who's always felt tolerated rather than accepted, I don't want a funeral. Either no one besides my husband and kids would be there or people who never really cared about me when I was alive (including my own parents if they outlive me) would come and be hypocrites. [/quote] I’m so sorry that the people in your life — especially your parents — have let you down. You’re as worthy of respect, affection and love as everyone else. You deserve better. I hope you’re working with a therapist to unpack all of this. However, funerals are actually for the living. If there are people who care about your spouse and children, your funeral would be the time for those people to lend them support.[/quote] I hated my mother's funeral - it was an ordeal not a comfort. My father who died after her said no funeral for him.[/quote] My mom's funeral was 5 months ago, this was not my experience. It gave us closure. We kept it small, she was cremated, so no cemetery. We did a simple service at the funeral home, then invited people back to my dad's house for a luncheon. We planned it for 2 weeks after her death. We felt like we could move on, after that point so the timing was right. Until then we were just spinning our wheels. It would have been weird to just do nothing. We still haven't scattered her ashes. She had some weird specific final wishes for that so we haven't figure out what to do. That's been the most stressful b/c she was so specific and now we feel like we have to do it the way she wanted.[/quote]
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