Reply to Parents who drink heavily vs Non-drinkers and their expectations for their kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Children of alcoholics are psychotic [/b]about teen drinking or any drinking for that matter.

There are people who don't drink either culturally or religiously or for health that know it is a normal part of teen behavior but are quite strict but don't freak out and they might counsel or ground but not in a way that is so overt that kids rebel.

There are people who drink regularly (i'm sure this is what you are talking about) but are not alcoholics who know it's part of normal teen behavior and give them tools to be safe like Uber or a place to drink safely and while they don't encourage it, they are not punishing drinking.

Then there are insane parents who drink with teens.

Then there are true alcoholics, and their kids might never touch the stuff due to what they lived with or maybe they drink with their insane parents. [/quote]
Way to victim blame! Children of alcoholics who want to break the family curse of alcoholism do not drink and they teach their kids the dangers of alcohol use in their family. [/quote]

I agree with you and found PPs language really judgmental and offensive. However, my mom is a child of alcoholics and I do agree with the PP that when people respond to that experience by being extremely restrictive and intense about alcohol, it's not a great situation. My mom should have gone to therapy and worked through her childhood experiences. Instead, she worked out her issues with her parents on her kids. She was insanely suspicious of everything we did, would accuse us of drinking and lying to her even when we weren't, would give these long lectures about how "our family has issues with alcohol" and that we were genetically predisposed to be alcoholics, etc. I know my mom had a really rough childhood and I try to have empathy for that, but her behavior was also abusive and dysfunctional even though she wasn't a drinker.

I actually was not that interested in drinking as a teenager but decided to start drinking at parties when I was a senior in HS because my mom had accused me of drinking so many times by then that I figured I might as well.

Please don't be that parent. It's really not productive.[/quote]
I am not that parent. I have had age appropriate talks with my children from a young age. Unfortunately, they have witnessed the effects of family curse and are aware that alcoholism runs deep on both sides. Now older teens, they see clear differences between me and dh and our siblings. Most of their cousins do not drink, either. By 50, the effects of drinking show on the face and body.  I am grateful to my young self for making the choice to not drink. The times I did, it went down too easy and scratched an itch I wasn't aware of.[/quote]

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