Reply to Feeling like social life has hit a ceiling....not sure where to go from here

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I completely understand.  I have a subpar social life and it's something that bothers me every day.

I'm a mom of two middle schoolers who has never found a friend group or a mom village.  I met some nice moms in playgroups when the kids were babies/toddlers, but those friendships faded as people moved away and the kids went to different preschools.  I thought preschool would be the place where we finally made friends, but nope.  No luck there.  Then Covid happened when the kids were in Kinder/first grade, and we really lost touch with prior friends and social connections.  Then started the kids at a private school and we were never accepted there, the kids made friends but I never did and the kids were not really invited to any playdates, other than birthday parties.  Then switched them both to public in upper elementary and by then all playdates were drop off so I never was able to make mom friends, though I had mom acquaintances.  The other thing is that because of the transient nature of this area, the kids made friends in elementary school and then many of those friends move out of state after a year.

Now in middle school my kids have school friends but other than birthday parties are not invited to anything.  I don't know why.  They invite kids to do things and the kids usually accept those invitations, but there's no reciprocation.  They both have better luck with friends from Sunday School, who do invite them to things, and I am acquaintances with those moms, but no real friends.

So I have a few acqaintances and no real friends, and we are never invited to anything as a family.  For example, this past summer we were never invited to anything.  Though we hosted a few things at our house, like pizza and game night, etc., nothing was reciprocated.

I am really lonely, and it's been hard.  What I have done that has helped somewhat to create a social life is join a lot of activity groups just for me.  I enjoy the activities, I've met lots of women through those, and they are still acquaintances but I'm hoping that eventually some good friendships will form.  I invite them to do things outside of the group, like coffee or walks.  I have never been invited by one of them, but they accept my invites.  Most of them are 5-15 years older than I am.  I never had any luck with making peer mom friends for some reason, but have better luck with women who are empty nesters/retired.

I do think it's much harder to make friends in midlife.  [/quote]

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