Reply to Do you rein in the spender in your family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We make about the same— I make a little more, HHI is $500.

I am the budgeter, and have shown husband how we are on track to pay off our 30 year mortgage 15 years early if we keep our spending in check. That’s a very tangible goal.

We also sometimes talk about shorter term goals, spending splurges or vacation funds.

I do not police him, but I do the grocery shopping and meal planning even though he is the cook because he isn’t good at shopping on a budget. He has seen how much quicker our mortgage balance drops when we aren’t eating out as much, and that was the biggest budget lifestyle change for us.

Otherwise, if there’s a large purchase (car), I set the general guidelines and we make a decision together. For medium things (new tech, anything >$1000) we discuss together.[/quote]

Why are you in such a rush to pay off your mortgage? What is the interest rate? That is often a foolish decision to take.[/quote]

6%, which feels painful after our condo was 3%. I hate paying interest, it’s a tremendous savings to knock it off sooner and as someone who didn’t grow up with wealth, I think I’m more debt/risk averse than others.

We max our retirement account contributions and have solid emergency savings + kids tuitions taken care of first. The thought of not having that bill every month by the time our kids are in HS is hugely motivating to us.

DH gains access to a substantial trust at 55, and there are separate trusts for the kids. I’d rather take care of ourselves and use that $$$ for the kids or emergencies, but knowing it’s there does make me favor paying off debts more.
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This all makes sense now. There's a significant power imbalance stemming from his family's wealth. He isn't worried because he and the kids are financially secure through his family's money—but OP is not (spouses never are).  Hence, he's a spender and she's a saver.

If I were OP, I would save 100% of my salary and tell my husband that, since he earns $650k and has a large trust fund in his future, he should cover all family expenses, including the house and kids' expenses. He can spend whatever remains after that. This isn't simply a matter of figuring out a family budget. Everyone in this family, except OP, is financially set for life.  [/quote]

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