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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there is a bit of romanticizing about being a single mom.  I would want to make sure I was very financially secure-- with some sort of safety net, before I intentionally became a single mother.[/quote]

As someone going through the process now, I think the difficulty is over-sensationalized--rather than any kind of romanticization of it.  Single motherhood is treated as a scourge in the media and the source of all society's ills--when the reality is, I will have many fewer hassles than my friends who have alcoholic, criminal, and disabled (Aspergers, to the point of being scary) exes to whom they're tied and to whom they have to turn their children over for visits once a week.

Money can come and go during your child's lifetime.  Couples start families without all finances in place and guess what--over the years they catch up.  I thought I needed X, but waiting has me spending on fertility treatments what could have been the start of a college fund.

If you ask single mothers by choice, they are glad they did it (it's after all a deliberate choice and not an accident) MANY, many, if not most, will say they wish they'd done it earlier.

The scariest part is deciding to do it.  Once you're in the process, it's not scary--you know what you want and there is a lot of support out there.  In my support groups, the women have generally undertaken this route because they DO have a lot of support.  I know I wouldn't be doing it if I thought I was truly alone.  I have a large extended family and loving grandparents waiting for this baby.

This is no one's first choice, but often, we're lucky even to HAVE a second choice, and then, to get that second choice.

The worst choice of all for me would be to not be a mother.[/quote]

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