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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if the spender is also the main breadwinner in the family? Do you give them a budget of how much they can spend each month on extraneous items?

Our salary difference is extreme - DH makes $650,000 and I make $150,000. But DH is the spender of the two of us and I do our budget. I feel bad when I tell him to spend less because I know he works a lot and deserves to reap the benefits of his hard work. But I also have a budget and financial goals for us that we need to meet each year so think it’s silly to spend money on things like a new grill, workout equipment, sports events, etc. [/quote]

We make more, but our salaries are about equal. My spouse doesn’t spend more or may only spend slightly more, but he spends differently and he views money differently. I view money first and foremost as security. He views money first and foremost as allowing him to meets his wants and needs. I have found that our disagreements about money stem from the fact that we view money differently.

OP- you may benefit from trying to understand if there is a similar situation at play with you and your spouse and if that may be influencing your view of his spending on a new grill as frivolous. You may also feel less anxious about your financial situation if you sit down with an accountant to discuss the basics of your financial situation and goals. It’s unclear to me if what your husband wants to spend on is unreasonable because you haven’t provided any figures and we don’t know your NW and what of that amount is liquid and we don’t know how much your husband wants to spend annually or if these purchases (equipment, grill) will be used for 10+ years or for one year and with the gym equipment, of it’s replacing a gym membership. [/quote]

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