Reply to How to Not Be the MIL who doesn't accept DIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I would like my kids to marry someone similar to them - college graduates, or professional. She is good looking and seems nice however she has nothing going for her. No college, trade or skill. She's been working for some years in low wage jobs, lives at home and doesn't even own a car. Her family doesn't have much money. Kids' friends in similar situations have figured out how to work and earn enough to buy a car. She knows how to spend though. I'm afraid he'll become a cash cow for her and possibly her family.[/quote]

Thanks for providing more details.  Now we can advise you:  butt the hell out. [/quote]

Ah the traditional gender role posters have arrived. OP, they will tell you if he is a good man he will pay for everything and take care of her in every way and put her feelings, thoughts and opinions ahead of his own. That his role in life is simply to please and worship his wife and his own needs, thoughts, opinions and feelings should never be voiced unless they are to support her. His job is to take on whatever stress and pressure she has so that she lives as stress free as possible, regardless of negative impacts on his physical or mental health. These are his problems to fix without ever allowing them to be present in the marriage. If she has any problems, it is all his fault and he needs to take responsibility for any choice or decision she makes that had a negative consequece. He also needs to continue to acknowledge the mental load of being a woman and how hard it is for women to do things like choose a movie or a restaurant or to make appointments so he needs to anticipate her needs and meet them before she even knows she has them so she doesn't have to have any mental pressures. His role is to fully sacrifice himself to serve her. Unless you agree with them, you will be attacked by these posters. [/quote]

What are you even talking about lol?[/quote]

Agreed.  I support traditional gender roles and I don’t think this is how anyone would articulate them.  PS - I’m a SAHW with a T5 undergrad and two advanced degrees.  I’d be disappointed if one of my sons married someone with no college degree because that woman will be the mother of my grandkids (check the research on mother’s educational attainment).  But I would suck it up… it’s a tough dating world out there.[/quote]

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