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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another way wishful thinking can bite people is financial wishful thinking. Thinking you can afford more kids than you actually can, not understanding how expensive teenagers can be, not understanding child support rules in your state (like what modifications are possible), not understanding that an "ours" baby might be pretty expensive.

Wishful thinking means telling yourself you're modeling a happy marriage when in fact you're modeling another crappy marriage.

Thinking that because the kids get along in small doses, or pretend to, that they'll be fine living together. It's just not the same thing at all.

[b]It's wishful thinking to thing step-parenting ends at 18 or 21 or college graduation.[/b] Go into this with an understanding that when adult children have life events, any sort of serious problem, or make a big mistake somehow, they first place they'll turn is their bio parents. And they'll want their bio parents to participate in their life events and eventually be engaged in grandparenting. It doesn't stop. [/quote]

This. Things can be just as complicated, if not more so, when the kids are young adults and have started families of their own. If a kid marries someone from an intact family, guess where they will be going for holidays with the grand kids...to the stable both-parents-are-still-there house. And what if there is a financial or mental health crisis and the adult kid wants to come home? [/quote]

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