Reply to Dealing with GF who is a widow vs. divorced and her kids/my kids/grandkids

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Reply to "Dealing with GF who is a widow vs. divorced and her kids/my kids/grandkids"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please prioritize seeing your kids and grandkids. I’m the adult child of a situation like this and it’s so painful for our family to see my dad spending so much time with the other family. My mom died so he’s a widow and immediately started dating someone else.

You sound like a guy who really wants to do the right thing so here’s what would have been helpful to me. Please don’t talk about your significant other’s kids and grandkids when you are with us. Please just focus on your own grandkids! Please call and be proactive on coming to see us. Come for kids games, come for random visits for no reason other than to say I love you and want to spend time with you. [/quote]

Good advice.

Look, you can't avoid the tension. Choices have consequences. It may eventually be easier if you keep on showing up. But avoiding is only making it worse. Make the effort, nut up and say no to your girlfriend a few weekends a year, and face your fear of your adult children's opinions about your choices. Basically suck it up.

You aren't going to have the family you hoped for, the imaginary easy intact family where everything is simple and no one finds fault with you. You had a bad marriage, you chose divorce, and now you're choosing your girlfriend and her family over your own. Can't you see that these are your choices? [/quote]

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