Reply to Anyone’s exDH try to use family caregiving for custody?

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Reply to "Anyone’s exDH try to use family caregiving for custody?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Talk to him about it and offer to change parenting days when he travels. If its not ok his mom care for the kids, why is it ok yours care when she's not doing well herself and cannot actually care for the kids.  You both need a real and realistic back up plan.[/quote]

Mine doesn’t even live with us and wouldn’t care for DC. DC is 8. I’m just imagining a future when DC is 13 and my mom has moved in and DC can’t stay home “alone” like a normal 13 year old for a few hours because they would be technically in the house with my mom so DH could trigger ROFR.[/quote]

Look ROFR is nice but kind of like morality clauses re: new partners- NO ONE is enforcing these.

Honestly ROFR and morality clauses and so much more are just things lawyers use to keep you talking/arguing and using their services. You can file contempt, maybe, but without the child’s testimony (not possible they’re a minor) how much do you want to spend to prove he had, say, a responsible capable caregiver, rather than you. Lawyers don’t tell you that no one cares about this stuff- there’s no divorce police to call, and court is onerous md expensive.

OP my honest advice to you is to deeply and fully understand and accept that he’s their dad and his parenting time is his. With divorce you lose control over what happens at his home and I wish someone had pressed this on me sooner 
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