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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you all. This is resonating finally— the older child is feeling very upset and she is only expressing it.

This gets me inside her head. I couldn’t imagine before why she would do that at the moment I got him to calm down.
But now I see it wasn’t really especially purposeful, just mad/letting it out.

I knew she was upset. I thought she was old enough to just say so, and she has. But I get it, she’s still undeveloped like him. It will be fine as we continue to work with him, and over and time. His therapy is amazing and I can see that he’s on a path to “grow out” of it. Before, before we had therapy, he was on a path to grow up with it.[/quote]

Well, if she tells you she's upset or hates living this way (which is different from being upset), and you basically cover your ears and say "Lalalala! It will be fine! His therapy is amazing! He will grow out of it!" then yes, that's going to annoy her. She needs changes now. Not just words from you. Real change.

You need to look into how you can lower your expectations for how much she has to accommodate his condition. Tolerating a meltdown is an accommodation, but doing things differently to prevent or reduce the chance of a meltdown is an also accommodation. Really try to open your eyes to what expectations you're placing on your daughter. [/quote]

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