Reply to My young teen’s social life is killing me. I need mental coping strategies

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[quote=Anonymous]I have never heard of teens going to away football games and JV games (unless she's dating a JV player?).  This would actually strike me as weird and worrisome.  I have three teens.

I often make mine take the public bus to the mall.  There's really good public bus service to the mall and to the shopping center that they all love!  Mine has now taught all the other kids how to use the bus.  They are basically free for teens.  (MoCo RideOn is now free for everyone.)  One of my kids will also ride his bike to friends, but I know that doesn't work for everyone.

I also have told mine that if she expects a ride, she needs to book that in advance.  She was getting really bad about calling me and saying someone else's mom dropped them off, but she needed me to pick them up at X time.  I need more warning than that, and I need to be asked, not told after there's no other option.

If your kid is doing more than 2 social events a week, I don't know when she has time to do homework!

Anyway, I don't think anyone can tell you a way to reframe this in your head.  Either you're willing to do it (and we're all wondering why), or you're not.  You can make it moderately more tolerable by watching TV or doing wordle or duolingo or listening to an audio book or whatever while you are waiting in the car, but it still is what it is.

Do you at least get to talk with the kids in the car?  That's something at least.  I tell my kids all the time that this Uber does not accept "silent ride" requests.  Bad enough I have to drive them, they can at least be polite enough to chit chat.  The parents I know that love to drive are doing it for the chit chat time.  I do like to talk to their friends too -- many of them are really nice about chatting in the car.  That's the best I can do for reframing.

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