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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I met the man of my dreams a few weeks ago and it’s been heaven. I’m happier than I’ve been in years, and even though it’s new, I could see myself marrying him (something I never thought I’d do).

However - we just can’t seem to get aligned sexually. We do have sex, and it’s fine, but there’s no real passion. It often feels mechanical and like we’re going through the motions. Like we’re just trying to get off as fast as possible. We do kiss and do foreplay, but I just don’t feel any real passion behind it from him, which is killing my passion for him.

A couple things that may also be going on is that he’s very goofy overall, so when it comes to sex, I really never know if he’s going to do something like start talking in a silly voice (which is a huge turn off for me). The other is that before him, I dated a man I wasn’t compatible with but we had the most intense sex life, it was extremely primal and passionate.

I don’t want to lose a great guy, but I’m at a loss on what to do. It’s not just requesting specific acts; I can ask for XYZ and he’ll do it, but the *feeling* just isn’t there. [/quote]

As I was reading the second paragraph I started thinking “I bet she’s been dating someone just for sex. Probably a Tinder guy where there’s a ton of chemistry, a large member and not much else”.  Then I saw the third paragraph.

I think this is one of the flaws of FWB’s. Dating someone just for sex allows you to choose someone who’s really really perfect for that one thing.  No well-rounded, relationship material person will ever be able to compete at that one aspect. The frustration you’re feeling is likely partly resentment over having to give up the Tinder guy. Resentment kills relationships so its not a good start.

You could take a pass at talking to the new guy about being more dominant and less cutesy in the bedroom but at the end of the day the resentment may still tint your view of the experience. To me, it doesn’t sound like you’re done with the Tinder guy yet. How long have you been seeing him?[/quote]

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