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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The only kids I know who had phones that early had divorced parents.[/quote]

Which I sorta get but then it’s annoying because they have free range access to the internet and my kid has told me he’s seen YouTube videos and things he isn’t supposed to watch on his friend’s phone. I try to relax on it because I know I can’t fully control what my kids see outside the home, so I try to keep a running dialogue with them about the realities of the internet and how anyone can post anything. I’d rather he come tell me what he saw than worry I’m going to flip out over it.

That said I don’t understand why divorced parents can’t just get their kid a dumb phone? There are old school cells that just have call and texting abilities.

My kid just finally got a gizmo watch in 5th. That seems sufficient for now.[/quote]

I think one thing that happens in divorced families is that when parents disagree on phones, the more permissive parent wins the argument (because each parent has custody periods, and whatever is permitted during the more permissive parent's custody time becomes the floor). Married parents also disagree on phones, but since everyone lives in the same house, there's no opportunity for the more permissive parent to just buy the kid a phone and force the other parent to deal with it.

In really dysfunctional divorces, the parents sometimes compete for the kids' affection with permissiveness so it's a real race to the bottom. Which is how you wind up with 4th graders who have unlimited TikTok access.

I have never judged anyone for getting divorced, I get that sometimes it's what makes the most sense for everyone involved. But having an elementary age kid and encountering these dynamics has made me better understand the downsides of divorce as they extend beyond the family unit. My kid recently changed schools and the new school has a WAY lower percentage of divorced families. Phones were a huge problem at the old school; they are a non-issue at the new school. These issues are related.[/quote]

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