Reply to DOGE'd Feds and impending shutdown

Forum Index » Jobs and Careers

Reply to "DOGE'd Feds and impending shutdown"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse was DOGE'd and took the 2nd fork offer, with "voluntary" early retirement supposed to happen on 9/30.  Spouse had been on paid leave since June so this will be the last paycheck and then...I have no idea what.

He's had no emails, no word from OPM, nothing.  He's says there is no one to call.  I don't know how OPM could keep up with processing all of the tens of thousands of additional VERA applications that are hitting on 9/30 anyway...and I doubt they will all be able essential workers in a shutdown, so what happens now???

[b]I am nearly ready to divorce my spouse over his level of avoidance about this (and the whole end of his federal career in general, because it has paralyzed him completely) but that won't help us in the short term.  He is just sticking his head in the sand and assuming an annuity payment will happen in October shutdown or no but I am freaking out with literally zero information, zero communication from OPM, zero anything[/b], so if any one of my dear DCUM pocket friends could help me with ANY general information about what to expect or who to ask or where to go for answers, I would be grateful.  [/quote]

That part was not needed. Let your husband be. Your nagging is not helpful. Lockdown (or threat of lockdown) has happened many times before. Unless you are living paycheck to paycheck, just stay calm and live your life. It will get sorted out. OPM backlog of retirement paper is 6months+ meaning your DH will not see his final numbers until next year, most likely. However that does not mean you won’t get paid (pension checks) until then. You will get interim checks (estimated amounts) until then. So, please, step back and give him some space. The last thing he needs is his wife getting on his back. Give it a rest.[/quote]

I'm not nagging him.  But basic, BASIC information is utterly missing.  Coooes of the paperwork he supposedly filed.  (Did he file everything correctly?  I have no idea.  He has no idea.  He doesn't remember.)  It is an absolute black hole of information and he doesn't remember absolutely nothing to follow up, call, ask any human he knows, nothing.

I do understand that this is traumatic.  It's a trauma for me, too.  Our entire financial future has been blown up.  I fully supported him leaving because the stress of having absolutely unqualified and reckless DOGE idiots trample over everything he had down for 3 decades was killing him.  He is still young but after 3 decades becoming an expert in a niche field and assuming he would have that job for another 8-10 years until retirement, he can't even think yet about starting over.  I try to keep my mouth shut as talking about it at all shuts him down.

But we do not have a big savings cushion. I have a steady job for now but that will be at risk too, with further federal funding disasters looming.  We both have had major mid-life situations with elderly parents and an adult child that blew up our financial safety net, and we are now both mid-50s with school aged children and a mortgage and we cannot survive with just my income for very long.

I am venting here because I am NOT nagging him.  Nagging does no good.  He is in complete shut down.  And he shuts down absolutely like this with all kinds of other crises in life and I always handle things, take the lead, call who needs to be called, do the paperwork that needs to be done, stanch the bleeding, call in the experts, research options, fix what I can.   But in this case, I have no information, no contacts, no access to anything, no one to call, no copies of anything, no information whatsoever, and, yeah, it's stressful.  I have no estimates, no idea how much health care will cost, no way to make a budget, no information whatsoever.

And yes, we have been on the brink of divorce for years, but I have tried to hold this ship together with duct tape and sheer will for a long time.  But now I feel like the duct tape is over my eyes and the leaking ship with my kids on it is heading for...I have no idea...a steep falls?  A tanker coming at is is at full speed?  Calm waters and I'm making a crisis over nothing?

The black hole of guidance is what is terrifying.

[/quote]

OP, I wish I could offer some specific guidance but I don’t have any.  I just wanted to say I hope in the middle of this shitstorm you are able to do something for yourself every day, even if it is just a brief walk outside, listening to some upbeat music.  People talk about the 50s as such a great age where you are confident in your skin, know what your priorities are etc etc.  Yeah whatever.  Being on your 50s in this area, in a job sector that has been destroyed by the maniac in charge, sandwiched between kids whose futures are more uncertain by the day and aging vulnerable parents.  Throw in some perimenopause, marital challenges and a he daily barrage of negative news when you are living in a budding autocracy and well..it’s A LOT.  Something will give one way or another and the next step in your life will become clearer with time.  In the meantime take care of yourself and try to prioritize sleep and exercise.  You don’t want to fall ill.  [/quote]

Thank you for this incredibly kind and empathetic reply.  Kindness and empathy are in such short supply these days.

I've had a lot of trauma in my life, to be honest with you.  I've cleaned up after a lot of people's disasters and tried to help build a better, more stable life for a lot of people younger than me while also taking care of elders who never took care of me or DH.  After all the compromises and sacrifices and crises I've weathered, I thought maybe, somehow, I could finally relax a little, married to a fed with job security.  We would never be DC-area "rich" but I have the profound appreciation for what we had...the security of a good paycheck, decent health care benefits, and knowing we could pay off our mortgage and not be destitute in old age.  We thought we had a good idea of what the next decade would look like.  That's all gone now.

I know very well things could be worse.  They've been a LOT worse.  We are both relatively healthy and our children are ok.  We are fed and have housing and our country hasn't opted into civil war (yet) and the economy hasn't collapsed (yet).  No one I love has been disappeared and we are not in the middle
of a genocide.  I have a job where my work is valued.  But the pace at which everything that used to be secure in an insecure world has fallen apart is dizzying, and I feel terrible that my young children are facing major upheaval and uncertainty ahead when I have worked so hard for stability for them.  We will likely have to sell our house and move.

I can't tell you how much it means to have you take the time to remind me to take care of myself.  Sleep and exercise and rest are in my control and I need to remember that.  Thank you.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics