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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Girl, my first month on apps I went on dates with:

- a guy who thought he was the second coming of Jesus (yes, really)

- a guy who told me he likes to suck off men

- a guy who was literally shaking the entire time from the anxiety

And these were men I had messaged AND talked to on the phone, and seemed normal.

I did eventually meet a FANTASTIC, normal guy who I'm currently dating. He's hilarious and we have SO much fun together, very glad I stuck with OLD until I found him.

I found him by:

1. Making sure my profile paints a vivid picture of what life with me is like (most people's profiles SUCK).

2. Never reaching out to a man first.

3. Only responding to men who opened with a thoughtful message that showed they read my profile and understood who I was.

4. Kept my responses warm, but brief - I didn't want to set a precedent that we text non-stop. If they didn't respond with further questions about myself, I unmatched.

5. If we went more than 2-3 days of texting without him initiating a phone call or date, I unmatched.

To give you the numbers:

1. Around 5000-6000 men swiped right on me.

2. Of those men, I swiped right only on about 100 (only men who had a good profile, we had things in common with, and I was physically attracted to).

3. Of those 100, around 50 initiated contact.

4. Of those 50, only about 5 moved things along to an actual date.

5. Of those 5, my current guy was by far the best. He was the only one of out all the men I matched with to consistently ask me thoughtful questions about myself and engage with things I found interesting, both via the apps and on the phone.

He was also the only one who listened when I mentioned I am looking for a man who can set a date up in advance (not the "wyd tonite?" BS) and can plan something beyond dinner/drinks. He definitely delivered - he planned an incredible date (don't wanna give it away because people would definitely be able to ID me, but it was the best first date I've ever been on by FAR).

This has really been the first time where I've felt a man is actively pursuing and courting me, which is really incredible.

I guess to summarize it: First, make sure your profile really explains who you are as a person and what life with you is like. You want the right man to see it and go "I WANT HER!" Then don't waste your time on any men who are ambivalent about you, spend your time on the men are hot for you and put forth the effort for you.

But remember the number of men like that will be very small! It's definitely a numbers game![/quote]

Way too much f-ing work. Reading about your process was exhausting. [/quote]

Ha! Well, to summarize it:

1. Have a really great profile that really showcases your personality and life (not just what you look like).

2. Only respond to men who put forth the effort to get to know you and like you as a person.

3. Drop them if they can’t do basic things like plan a date. [/quote]

NP. This was my experience 15 years ago too. I was 31, took 100 first dates, 10 second dates, 3 relationships—2 short and the third was DH.

Don’t think of it as work, have fun. I found most people to be nice, just not the right fit for me. If you cling to the outcome, there’s too much pressure. If you think of it as just getting to know people, it’s not so bad.

You do have to filter aggressively up front but it’s not that hard to weed out the losers. [/quote]

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