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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell us the topic.[/quote]

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.  [/quote]

Okay, on this one I can help, my kid did a short answer essay that keyed off a favorite childhood book.  His high school counselor said, "sweet, but trite," very common and they aren't looking to admit 4 year old you.   She went on to list other topics/themes that have the same problems- 1) high school athletics interrupted by injury and 2) my grandma/grandpa is my hero (they also aren't looking to admit your grandpa).  I wouldn't have thought of it that way but it made sense, they are trying to understand/compare 17 year old to see how they might grow and contribute in a field of other 17/18 YO's so topics highlight childhood or other people rather than current/future person are starting off at a big disadvantage.  Sorry your school counselor didn't help you out on this one[/quote]

My (non athleic) kid wrote about a fairly minor sports injury that changed their life.  It was a great essay, funny, with a twist that tied into their future major.

They got into nearly every school they applied to, including several top 10 schools.[/quote]

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