Reply to Been divorced 5 years; ex sent text last night expressing regret

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think for the sake of your kid (who is how old?) you have to see if this is a possible opening to a renewed relationship or not. I think talking to a therapist is a good idea. OTOH calling him up to ream him out would also be a totally understandable response. At the end of the day I think you would have to assess yourself whether there is any possible world where he becomes a healthy presence in your child’s life.

I would probably start by shifting the burden on to him: “Hey ex. Given that you stopped communicating with child, how do you think you can rebuild a relationship? What can you do to heal this? What is your plan and your idea about how this is going to work?”

If he cannot discuss this with you (gets mad, denies there is any issue, or my favorite - tells you it is all your fault) then I would ignore it with a clear conscience.

If he expresses insight and takes responsibility, then you may have a path forward.

Either way this is HIS work to do, not yours. Your only job as a mom would be to protect your child from a harmful scenario (eg he suddenly wants to come take child away for the weekend or starts making drunken calls to child). But if Ex sets up therapy appointments, consults with child’s therapist, has a plan - then ok. [/quote]

THIS^^^^^
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