Reply to Been divorced 5 years; ex sent text last night expressing regret

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What’s your concern for your child then bases on this text to you?[/quote]

Dad is expressing regret. I don’t want to deprive my child of a relationship w/their father, but his past behavior has shown he isn’t a person to trust. Dad deprived child from a relationship with him, purposely.

I don’t want to harm my child by exposing them to a someone who may end up adding another layer of trauma and pain into their lives.[/quote]

Respectfully- you chose to make said child with an untrustworthy man. You can’t now decide that they can’t see them. If dad wants a relationship he has a right to one. [/quote]

Sounds like dear old dad left mom with a special needs 10 year old completely on her own to deal with puberty and a time when he was growing physically stronger and mom really could have used a dad in the household to help. Now that kid is in HS and the harder stuff is done he can come and play hero dad (or not, and leave the OP to deal with any disappointment and setbacks).[/quote]
 Yes, it does sound this way. None of this changes the fact that dads have a right to relationship with their kids, even the shitty ones. [/quote]

Fair, but if he wants to enforce that, there are legal methods to do that and its not by drunken texts. He can look at their court order and if it allows visitation he can send her a letter requesting it. But I think he's not serious and maybe he had a fight with his wife or something,  so I wouldn't rrespond unless he followed up.[/quote]

This is op. That was my exact thought. Something is awry in dad’s life and he is looking for emotional comfort or to assuage his guilt.

Parenthood is not an occasional job and is about the kid. [/quote]

I admit I would be curious to have a friend do some social media sleuthing and find out if his wife left him, but better not to get involved, lol. Does your son not have contact with his paternal grandparents? [/quote]

Paternal grandmother has passed away since the divorce. Paternal grandfather is in a nursing home with multiple chronic conditions. His health is very poor and he probably won’t live much longer.

When the divorce began, they immediately cut me and kid out. They supported ex 100%. My ex mil passed away late last year and one of their family members reached out to me to ask why kid wasn’t at the memorial service with their dad. I simply stated dad has no contact with kid due to dad’s choice. They said everyone thought it odd ex didn’t mention his child at all when they caught up with him during the memorial and after the funeral service.

Ya’ll don’t understand what terrible and odd circumstance my poor kid had to deal with. They were loving grandparents until they weren’t. Oddly enough, my kid is mentioned as beloved grandchild of deceased grandmother in her obituary.

I feel like we are in the twilight zone.[/quote]

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