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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

If your kid isn't playing in games, I would start with asking them how much effort they are putting into the practices and how much time are they spending outside of practices working on their ball skills.  Chances are playing time is given to the kids who are doing these two things.  At the age of 12 the coach can only do so much to "develop" your child - she has to take accountability for how much work she wants to put into her own development.[/quote]

I've got two very different kids; one who is 100% effort at whatever they are doing and the other is 25-75% effort, depending on how they're feeling that day. It's not hard to see the difference in how they practice. I disagree with the comment about the coach understanding extra effort. We've got some kids who don't show up to all practices, don't put in extra time outside of practice, and then play a ton. Then we've got some who put in extra effort at practice and play soccer 7 days a week and get tons of playing time. And then we've got some who put in tons of effort in and out of practice 7 days a week (not my DC) but don't get playing time If all it took was extra effort, then those 7 day a week kids would be only ones playing, but that's not what's happening on our team. My child works hard at practice, does some extra soccer (not a 7 day a week kid), and is not a top player and that's okay by me. I get that some kids don't have to put in extra effort to be better than my kid, but believing that it's all about effort is just plain wrong for our team and my kid.

I agree that the coach's responsibility is to develop the team and not the individual, and that the individual player has to take responsibility for their development journey. I just so strongly disagree that the extra effort is always rewarded. If it did, the starting lineup and playing time would be dramatically different. Coach wants to win, and that's it. Extra effort doesn't matter. Playing time is not a 1:1 measure of how hard your kid is working and so I would encourage any parent frustrated by their' kids playing time to look for other measures of success. Sure, the best of the best put in tons of effort and play soccer 7 days a week and are genetically gifted, but even on top teams in this area, many of the starters are NOT doing anything extra, they're just genetically gifted. These days, it takes a 100% family effort (not just individual player effort) to make someone the best of the best, and many parents just can't pony up the $ or time so that their kid can do soccer 7x a week with the best trainers, the best small-group training sessions, be on the best futsal team, and train at the best training facilities. What was considered 'extra' when I was a kid is no longer good enough and the bar for what is considered 'extra effort' keeps getting raised.[/quote]

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