Reply to No birthday present- break up with him?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is like a man saying my love language is sexy clothing and lingerie. I want her to show me she cares by putting thought into what I would want to see her in and wearing what I want her to wear and when I want her to wear it. If she doesn’t do that, then she clearly doesn’t care about me or love me and it’s disappointing because a good girlfriend would want to please her man and do what is important to him in a thoughtful way. [/quote]

For some men having s sexy woman who takes care of herself is a non-negotiable.  They would never date a fat slob who never wears make up.  OP is a materialistic person who expects gifts - why should she compromise and accept a someone who doesn't share her values?  I don't share her values, but I still thing she should get what she needs from a relationship with no judgment.  I get what I need from mine and find it fulfilling.  Everyone should have that [/quote]

Disagree. Gifts giving has been a love language and way to express affection since beginning of civilization. He was doing it before and now stopped. He could have gotten flowers at $20 at Safeway to show his affection.
It’s not materialistic for OP to feel that way. [/quote]

If the way you want someone to express affection is primarily through trinkets, then yes, you are materialistic. I’d argue [b]acts of service is the way affection has been expressed since the dawn or civilization.[/b]

I agree with the poster who say she should look for that, though. But I’ll judge because shes a 40-something who already material expressions of affection in her marriage and same that wasn’t enough. [/quote]

Do you consider paying for dinner an act of service? It's about as low effort as you can get. It is not unreasonable to expect a modicum of thoughtfulness and romance from your partner. It he put effort into planning a romantic dinner, that would be great, but it doesn't sound like there was any effort at all. I don't think OP was asking for an expensive gift, just something that demonstrated care and attentiveness to her.[/quote]

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