Reply to 18 year old niece choosing guy over college

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My advice is to make sure she tells the college this is just a gap year and that she wants to defer her admission a year.

Also, the ONLY financial support her parents should give her is health insurance. Other than that, she is on her own. If she plans to live at home, she needs to pay rent, utils, and for food. I'm serious. She needs to see what she is signing up for.

And I think YOU should encourage her to go to college. [/quote]

She is now living with him and it seems his family supports this engagement. I want to encourage her but not sure how and what angle to use. Emphasize the personal growth? increasing in earning potential? That it will be better for the relationship in long run? I am sure her family is giving her all the usual reasons and clearly it is not working. Not sure what angle I can add. [/quote]

Maybe your angle should be to MYOFB.[/quote]

Hmm if it were my daughter, I would want anyone and everyone to throw the kitchen sink at her in hopes something will stick. [/quote]

+1.  I know many adults who have made bad decisions when they were younger, who now wish that someone would have stepped in when they were younger to try to offer some good advice.  An aunt is a particularly good person to potentially weigh in, as the girl may be more inclined to take advice from someone at arm's length, than from the parents.

I think that the OP should try to at least suggest that she can still go to college while engaged.  That's what I would do.[/quote]

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