Reply to At what cost do you help your adult kids after getting them through college?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "At what cost do you help your adult kids after getting them through college? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm seeking a sanity check on whether these things are reasonable.  I'm most interested in hearing from people who are well off but not rich, with adult kids in their twenties who graduated from college without debt and have good jobs.

1. How much does helping your 20-something kids affect your budget and retirement plans?  I'm not as interested in hearing from people who have $10m or more, but from people still working and saving for retirement.  Are you willing to keep working after 65 to be able to pay for grad school, weddings, down payments, etc?

2. How do you resolve disagreements with your spouse about how much support to provide adult kids and at what cost?  What would you do if your spouse were spending down assets on adult kids without your blessing, which you didn't give because you legitimately believe you couldn't afford it?

3. When your adult kid visits, do you cover 100% of the costs of their trip?  For example, do you pay for their airline ticket, groceries, meals out, etc?

4. When you vacation with your adult kids, do you also cover 100% of the costs?  Not just the housing, but for example, do you pay for their round of golf, ski lift ticket, or other activities?

5. An adult kid who has graduated and is employed visits and makes their own plans.  Is it reasonable for them to expect to be able to take your car while they visit?   And if there is a schedule conflict?

6. Would you help with graduate school, law school, medical school, or an MBA if it required you to keep working later than planned?  If you do it for one kid, do you need to do it for their younger siblings, too?  [/quote]

1. No. I would not work past 62 to pay for grad school/wedding/down payment. I would work past 62 to pay for medical issues.
2. I would have separate finances and give them a stipend to spend any way they want and protect the rest from their spending. 
3. Visit me.. I pay for their plane ticket if I ask them to visit and I pay for all meals we eat together. They come home to visit friends, I do not pay the ticket or the meals not eaten with me.
4. If they vacation with me, I pay for everything. I even let my brother use my car when he visits, so yes they can use my car. If there is a conflict they UBER.
5. Sure if I'm not using the car, Uber if I am using the car.
6. Yes if I don't work past 62, no otherwise. I paid for 1 graduate school which was only about $20K out of my pocket. Ill make it up to the younger sibling in one way or another like I paid for their car down payment and I paid some of their undergrad student loans. (We could pay all of it but we wanted our kids to pay $10K of their own loans, the younger one only paid $5K)[/quote]

Can you imagine a 50+ year old man, whose always done things his own way, agreeing to a stipend?  Maybe at the threat of divorce, but no one likes to give or receive ultimatums. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics