Reply to How to help 2nd grader with suspected executive function

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I say suspected because he’s never been tested for anything and of course 8 year olds are not as organized as middle schoolers. He remembers dates and times really well but can be disorganized with items.

Examples:
He needs to put gym shoes in his locker. He remembers this himself and packs his shoe bag… At drop off he jumps out of the car with his backpack and leaves the shoe bag in the car.

He goes to the library (takes his own wallet and library card and checks out. Sits and reads or gets on computer and when we get up to leave, leaves his wallet and card.

He has never forgotten major things like his lunch or his homework.

Does anyone have a book I can read to help understand and put strategies in place? I’m punctual and responsible, but tend toward clutter and sometimes misplace things. In kindergarten we used a visual checklist, but he has multiple activities and more supplies now.

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This is just so normal for 8yo boys. I have 3. Strategies basically include natural consequences. [/quote]

It’s hard when there’s fail safes. He forgot his music book and viola teacher had an extra so it was fine. He forgot his lunch once and I drive it over when school called. Another Time he forgot lunch and I didn’t drive over but school gave him a lunch and he was happy as a clam. Last week I had him call the library about his lost card and the librarian said not to worry they would just issue him a new card on his next  visit. [/quote]

He’s 8.  Help him. Your 8 yr old going to school without his lunch is your fault.  [/quote]

I do help him. If I’ve asked him twice if he is sure he put the lunch I packed (and reminded him twice about) in his backpack, and insists it is there, I am not going to open his backpack to visually check. [b]Are you saying I need to visually check to see if an 8 almost 9 year old has put the lunch I have on the counter for him every morning and have asked him about into his bag?[/b][/quote]

Yes, I look at my DS 8 backpack each morning before camp or school to check for the essentials especially lunch and water bottle. This step (what I do separately, because it's my problem too if something is missing) is different from teaching them to get some of this ready themselves.

OP I get where you are coming from because in the undies/socks example that's what my kid would do as well. And we are specifically trying to work on following multi step directions, being focused on the activity at hand, and exec functioning.

I too would appreciate book recs etc. I think some of your examples and expectations are distracting from your more general question.[/quote]

This goes against what teachers have said to do though. They say I need to set up a system (which I have) and have a checklist (yes we have done that. I even made a visual one) and give reminders, but otherwise step back and let him learn. Are they wrong? That’s why I am asking for a book recommendation. I’m very much a person that wants to read and research and know the why and how.

And I’m sorry for the confusion. I said 2nd because he just finished 2nd and given that he has been in 3rd grade for a couple of days, I thought I would get more applicable advice. Like he is basically 9 (early November birthday) but I say he is 8, same reason. If people all say “Hey 3rd and 4th grade is when stuff finally clicks,” or “in 3rd grade the teachers make sure they work on systems,” that would be great. All I’ve heard from parents of older kids is that 3rd grade is when the school academics and responsibilities ramp up. [/quote]

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