Reply to Group chats- advice for a 5th grade parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The folks on here telling you not to allow a 5th grader a way to text friends going to a different school that she would like to keep in touch with are ridiculous and overreacting.  This is not social media, people!  Texting friends is not linked to depression!  It will take  A LOT of work to otherwise keep up those friendships, and [b]OP really is right that those friendships will fizzle without it.[/b]  Particularly because they other girls will all be on a chat together.  I mean, come on, the PP above is suggesting they can call each other on LANDLINES??

Use a family ipad and get her an apple id/email.  Don't do a phone yet.  At least 2/3 of the kids on group chats in 5th grade are using apple ids.

You can monitor and limit when and how much she can text.  You can also limit what type/which group chats she joins.  If you want, limit it to just small groups of her actual friends, rather than the big like "5th Grade Chat" or "5th Grade Girls Chat" or whatever.  (The problems arise more in those types.)  You can tell her that you can read the chats...monitor for anything problematic, and have actual discussions about it.

In middle school a kid without a way to text her friends will be left out -- or have to work extra extra extra hard socially.  Ease in now in late elementary when they are much more open to your limits and oversight, and help them learn the dynamics of texting and group chats.  This is how people communicate now -- again, we are not talking about social media or anything.

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The friendships will also fade out WITH texting because these girls are eventually going to start a group text without OP's DD. This happens All. The. Time. In fact, it's how a lot of text drama starts.[/quote]

Eh, OP said that many of the girls are switching schools this year -- so it sounded like they were all scattering, not all going to the same school without her DD.

My girls are older teens and it's so invaluable -- especially for girls -- to have more than one group of friends. Truly, it's so important. Of course they will become less close and less active as a friend group than school friends, but I would not thwart their attempt to maintain their friendship.

Just monitor the chat.  If it goes south, you can re-evaluate.  [/quote]

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