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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a long story that could probably be split into three posts, but I’ll try to keep it concise.

I have a family member who’s always been difficult. During the last two times we were together, she acted out in public in ways that were inappropriate and uncomfortable. After the second incident, I gently brought it up and told her it made me uncomfortable. She didn’t take it well—she cried and abruptly left.
Some time passed, and we eventually agreed to meet for lunch. What followed was the most awkward, uncomfortable interaction I’ve ever had. She wouldn’t make eye contact, barely spoke (just one-word answers), didn’t eat, and fidgeted nonstop. She honestly looked like a scared, wounded animal. I told my husband afterward that it felt like someone had forced her to have lunch with a known criminal.
I didn’t say anything in the moment—it was just too bizarre. Her reaction seems wildly out of proportion to how gently I approached the earlier conversation. The only explanation I can come up with is that she’s embarrassed and trying to shift blame, like “You were so mean to me that I’m now afraid of you.” Or like a form of passive-aggressive punishment, like, “You hurt my feelings, so now I’ll make you uncomfortable, too.”

So now I’m stuck. T[b]he elephant in the room clearly needs addressing, but I have no idea how to move forward. How do I approach this? And what could she be trying to achieve with this behavior?[/b][/quote]

You made her cry and didn't apologize? How weird.

"I'm sorry if what I said was too harsh. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." is a good start.[/quote]
Oh, that happened way back at the time of the incident. This is weeks later. I thought we had moved past it, but apparently not. [/quote]

Ok well OP - impossible to say since you won’t give any more facts. But in general, you cannot control how quickly someone moves past an incident just because you feel like they should have. Obviously your mother is still really upset over what happened. Only you can say if this is part of a pattern of overreaction on her part or not. Given that you seem so perplexed by it, sounds like it is an authentic reaction on her part. She’s upset. [/quote]

+1.

There are a lot of things that could be at play here, but at the most basic level, whatever you said and did when you called her out seems to have affected her somewhat seriously. It sounds like you need to have a conversation to clear the air.[/quote]

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