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DC Public and Public Charter Schools
Reply to "Advice on Two River PCS"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the parent of a rising 4th grader at TR4 and I'm not aware of any behavioral issues. The 5th grade cohort is really small and I haven't heard of any issues there, either. I can't speak to what's happening at the Young Campus.[/quote] The thing with behavior is it's not always poor classroom control or widespread minor behavior stuff. It has to do with how the school handles really serious behaviors, like assault or kids with serious emotional or psychological problems. You can go years without having firsthand experience with this kind of thing. But then there will be a major incident and people are often really disappointed in how the school handles it. Yes, these things can arise unpredictability, but how the school manages the aftermath and prevents future issues is a big deal. And if parents feel like they're being gaslit or woke-shamed into tolerating behaviors like severe bullying or things that are actually physically dangerous, then they'll be really unhappy. Just one incident can speak volumes about how the schools handles things, and people don't forget. The school will say "it's just that one kid" but it's not-- it's more than one kid, and the common thread is the school not handling it appropriately. [/quote] Agree with this, and would also note that behavioral issues can also involve widespread minor stuff the at the school [I]and other parents[/I] do not view as an issue but isn't okay with you. We left a school (not TR) because the behaviors that were tolerated or even encouraged starting in 2nd or 3rd grade were, IMO, problematic or too mature. These included a ton of phone use (the school technically opposed this and tried to keep phones out of the classroom and the school but the phones were being provided by parents and kids were not being given any limits -- there were kids getting on tik Tok during class, showing each other YouTube videos on the playground, etc., without any parental controls on content), kids discussing pornography and sex and other adult topics in hallways and on the playground, and what I viewed as a problematic level of "mean girl" style bullying, the kind of passive aggressive bullying that can seem like kids are just teasing their friends but in reality they are targeting outsider kids and making fun of them in backhanded ways in order to ostracize them (and yes my kid was one of the outsider kids but there were several, including a kid who was excluded in this way for his weight and who got relentlessly teased for it, even in front of teachers, and nothing was done). Is this the same as someone bringing a knife to school or physical altercations in the classroom? No. And if this were a middle school, I would accept that a lot of this behavior is inevitable (though regarding phones I do have higher expectations for how the school combats it). But it bothered me how young these kids were while engaging in this behavior. To me it reflected a group of parents (not all, but too many) who were either modeling this behavior for their kids or weren't doing anything to address it, and a school that had just accepted that kids as young as 7 were going to be discussing graphic sex acts or watching violent videos at recess, or that a kid who maybe didn't fit in perfectly is just going to be harassed daily over their appearance or their parents finances or even what to me looked like signs of special needs, and that's just how kids are. I found that so disturbing. This is what I mean when I say "behavioral problems." It's just kids engaging in behaviors that I think are negative or harmful (even if not violent) and none of the adults involved are doing much if anything to address it. And in some cases even encouraging the behavior because the adults engage in the same problematic behaviors. I have no idea if this sort of thing is present at TR, but just offering this as an example of what "behavioral problems" can look like that isn't just severe issues like kids getting violent with other kids or teachers (though obviously that's also a major problem and I agree with the PP that you have to look at how the school handles it and what the do to protect other kids and their staff).[/quote] Yes, I agree with all of this. It all matters and sets a tone. Clearly different parents have different ideas about what behavior is acceptable and/or how hard the school should try to control it. Some parents are unrealistic, especially if they aren't used to older kids at all. And some kids are upset or intimidated by behavior that another child might not even notice. And some people are really just not well-informed. We were at a school that had a BES program, so of course we did see certain behaviors or kids getting upset. Obviously-- that's why they're in BES. It stands for Behavior and Education Support. Their aides were right with them, responding as needed, and that's how that goes. Saying "oh no, these awful behaviors" just makes parents look uninformed. [/quote]
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