Reply to How do I advise/support my sister who is a burnt-out PGY1 medical resident? (

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here:

[b]Also, "your sister is not cut out for medicine" is not needed or appreciated. [/b]I just can't tell if this is a passing fancy, or growing pains/adjustment. Aside from a year of research between college and med school, it is her first job. [/quote]

This can't be concerned controlled on a free message board.[/quote]

OP here. This may be the case, but honestly, I am now realizing that my motivation was to get support from the DCUM community as how to approach the situation individually (i.e. myself) as, for a number of personal biographical reasons, I am a significant figure in my sister's life. And, her stress is also impacting my own academic work.

The hate is unnecessary. Her expressed intention for going into IM was the diversity of procedures, before specializing further. Now, I worry that is all in question and years of graduate education may be at risk. Not to mention, years of private school tuition.

So, for those who call my sibling "spoiled" – ask yourself, how does it feel were the same applied to yourself, your own sibling, or child? Seems like unnecessary hate to put out in the world. I asked for actionable, specific advice. Trashing people is not actionable, except engaging in projective identification on your own part.

Also, I will end by saying – is this forum populated entirely by women? The snark re "spoiled" or "entitled" seems heavily gender-coded in a way that would not be applied to a man. Are the three blonde ladies from the White Lotus on this thread? This isn't a matter of not being able to take the heat – I am simply asking: what are you contributing to this conversation? Why are women in healing professions expected to be sacrificial lambs, whereas a man might – to my imagination, at least – be seen as a martyr?

I'll take input from physicians, parents of physician children, or spouses of the same, but otherwise, I am not interested in the petty resentment of DCUM posters who, for whatever, reason, seem invested in speaking derogatorily about loved ones. I can pass comment on my sister's psyche; ya'll cannot. This may be a public forum, but whatever happened to decorum? This is why this country is falling apart.

And finally, given the program she matched into, the one thing I can assure you above all is that there is was no issue with her board scores. I think the main triggering factor is the fellow resident – a young female, in her same year – getting punched in the face. Like I said, I myself am a university professor so I think what I am now realizing I am/was trying to do is – how do I maintain credibility in supporting or advising her, when she is right to call me out, I work in a completely different milieu. That said, AGI may kill the social sciences before I make tenure, so part of my frustration is that she has guaranteed job security and these days, social science academics do not.

Once again, I would like to reiterate my gratitude, particularly to those physicians who were detailed and went point-by-point. I do think the fiancé is an issue, but that ship has sailed. To those of you who project your own insecurities or misery onto others – I wish you a most thoroughly unpleasant day. [/quote]

OP, you just need to ignore some of these posters. Are you relatively new to DCUM? [/quote]

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