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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some families allow this, some don't. Disregarding the occasional logistical reasons like late nights/snowstorms, etc., those who do allow it are just accepting of what is going on (i.e., sex). Also, age matters a lot. 14 vs. 18 is a very big difference.

Among those who don't (which are most, but not by the majority you'd think), I believe:

1) Some don't as a way to pretend that their teens do not have sex, even when they know they do. It's a "I'm not going to make it easy for you," which still signals that it's wrong and potentially dangerous but in a subtle way. It keeps the conversation shut down, which can be beneficial in the short-term (avoids the awkward!) but potentially negative long-term (teens don't feel it's okay to ask parents questions or share concerns, and/or lie).

2) Others don't because they truly believe it prevents teens from having sex. It doesn't generally, because obviously sex can take place anywhere (well, almost anywhere) at any time. So it's about control.

3) A third group doesn't actually care but doesn't allow it because they don't want to be judged. [/quote]

The parents that are supposedly stricter don’t understand how to make the transition of their children into adulthood. Sex happens, can’t see why is that such a problem. Likely the culture of the parents is that they hide  romantic affection with each other in front of the kids, assuming it still exists.

The parents that don’t allow also fall into several categories.

1. Cultural taboo, sex is perceived as something shameful, that should be kept after marriage, or put some value on (female) virginity of low number of sexual partners.

2. Parents assume that having a romantic partner in high school is a distraction from more important things like academics and extracurriculars. These parents usually want tight control over what their kids are doing.

3. Don’t care, but don’t allow it because they don’t want to be judged.

Age and maturity matter, if you’ll treat your 20 something year old that graduated college, the same way as a 13 year old middle schooler, [b]you wont have a good relationship with your adult child.[/b][/quote]

Weird. I and everyone I grew up with and close friends circle now didn't have sleepovers with our boyfriends/ girlfriends in college and still have a great relationship with our parents. Interestingly those with permissive parents have difficult relationship now . [/quote]

Most young adults resent that level of control at 20-25. When do you allow them to be independent, and treat them like they are allowed to do whatever they want? Curious why it is so bothersome that your 20 something is having sex in your house.
[/quote]

We don't believe in sex before marriage.  We also believe in respecting the rules of the house you are in.[/quote]

Is no sex before marriage a personal choice you made for yourself or for your child?

Bible thumper or immigrant culture?[/quote]

For ourselves and our home . We also don't smoke, drink or do drugs if our kids want to do those things they are free to do so in their own homes.[/quote]

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