Reply to How much $$ are the Grooms parents expected to contribute to wedding costs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have sons and daughters. We have paid for college/grad school and so far wedding for one DD. The groom’s family did not offer to help pay for anything for the wedding, but did host a welcome party. Cost-wise, those two events were not at all comparable, the wedding was more than 10x the cost of the welcome party. We are fine contributing to all kids’ weddings, but we are lucky and can afford it. Our experience cemented for us that we will not treat our sons differently - I did not like that it was assumed we would pay (my DD did not feel entitled to this and was extremely appreciative throughout the process).

I do think in UMC families in the DMV the bride’s family still usually pays for the entire wedding, and all three families I know who hosted in the last year or are currently planning mention $250k as the “number.” Of course, some of these weddings are for 250 or more guests. It’s an absurd amount of money and I find myself hoping these are lasting marriages.[/quote]

Doesn’t sound like you are fine with it even though what you described is wedding tradition for like the last 80 years.

Admittedly, much of what counts as the “American way of life” didn’t exist prior to WWII.

Even before the depression, only the Rockefellers of the world had lavish weddings.  Children of doctors and lawyers just had small weddings with a modest reception in the basement of the church/temple.  Adult children rarely lived on their own until married and in fact it was the the norm to have multigenerational households.

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