Reply to Different rules for ND and NT kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are completely undermining your husband’s role as an equal parent. You don’t get to decide this for the whole family. I would talk about what a compromise looks like. If you don’t, then don’t be upset when your husband decides not to participate equally with you in the parenting load.

As someone with a 15 year old with profound ID, I should have relaxed on screen time when my child was younger. I should have made life easier when we went out to dinner, etc. My husband should have been willing to do meds earlier. Neither of us was “perfect” in our decision making.

It sound like your husband is an extrovert who wants more time with groups of people and that includes dining out. There are ways you can accommodate this. Host a game night at your house and order pizza. Meet up with a family at a park and bring sandwiches. Give both your kids a screen to get through a nicer dinner every other month. Six times a year isn’t going to be that horrible for either of them. Practice without screens at fast casual places, etc. You seem to have some black and white thinking on this subject. You and your husband both need to lean into the shades of gray.[/quote]

Typical DCUM where women are not even allowed to have thoughts that contradict what their husbands say. JFC, OP is allowed to have an opinion about her children's screen time.[/quote]

This is a bananas response to what I said. I have all kinds of opinions that differ from my husband, and I don’t need his permission to have them. I’m a super liberal feminist.

But, I think women sometimes think their way is always the best way with respect to parenting and that isn’t always true. My husband is one of the most equal partner husbands that is out there. And it is because (1) I have super high standards about what I expect from a husband/father to my kids and (2) I assume that he has good intent and that his input is valuable as both a partner and a parent. I’m not telling OP to just cave. I’m telling her not to get caught up in this rigid black or white that it is her way or the highway. And her husband needs to get away from his rigid thinking as well. Life is a marathon not a sprint. You can’t actually optimize every single decision you make every single day based on your own perspective and think your marriage and family will end for the best like this.[/quote]

Thanks for sharing why you think you are such an amazing partner and parent! I am glad this thread offered you the opportunity to do it. I'm saddened however that you had to accuse the OP of "completely undermining her husband's role as an equal parent" because she is trying to figure out how SHE wants to approach this issue, in order to get whatever validation it is you are seeking. Good lord.[/quote]

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