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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We use iPads more than we should at home, but electronics in a restaurant is a nonstarter for us.  Eating in a restaurant socially with others is a life skill that my ADHD kid needs to learn as much as anyone else.  We go out quite often, and have since my kids were little - mostly to neighborhood/casual places - if there arecrayons and a coloring sheet, great, but if not we chat and eat.  [/quote]

Op here. I agree with you but my son can’t tolerate sitting still and coloring for the duration of a dinner at even a kid friendly place. The other night, we went to a family friendly dinner (a very casual pizza restaurant) that only took 45 minutes and in that duration he was touching every salt/pepper/red pepper shaker on the table, spilling water into his toy cars, and then running around the restaurant after he ate (luckily it was very spacious and I was able to leave with him and take him outside to run around.) he has a way of playing with toys in atypical ways that creates enormous messes, disruptions etc. my other child who is NT will color, or play with toys in a deliberate way and can behave typically for a child. I don’t want to give either of them the iPad, but we’re in a tough spot because it is impossible for him to sit still while unmedicated without being disruptive - even with toys. [/quote]

Is sitting for dinner and playing appropriately with toys something you require at home? If it’s not you need to start. If you think he can’t do it because of a disorder you’re doing him a huge disservice. He is capable of learning but you must be consistent. You can’t allow one thing at home and then walk into a restaurant with an expectation beyond that which you expect at home. The answer is not an iPad, it’s consistent practice at home. If he can’t play with toys then you teach him. If he can’t sit still then you teach him. If he can’t wait then you teach him. If you can’t make it through a restaurant dinner then you break down those skills and teach him. And right now you hire a babysitter to watch the kids until he can handle a restaurant. You’re currently setting him up for failure. Sounds like you could benefit from a home program and parent training to work on isolating and building skills. [/quote]

This. I'm not some rigid jerk who judges parents for letting kids get on screens in public ever. Even in a restaurant, it's fine sometimes. But I would not set it up as the PLAN for our family restaurant meals out. You are just cutting yourselves off at the knees there, and basically admitting to your kid that you have no other solution to the challenges he faces in that environment.

I would make sure we were having family dinner together at a table at least a few times a week and using that time to practice translatable skills that can be applied at a restaurant. Especially skills like waiting for a dish to be served, sitting calmly while others finish their meal, etc. Then practice those same skills at low key family restaurants (I might even just start at places like Chipotle or something where the stakes are VERY low).

I'm not saying don't bring the iPad and never give it to the kids. But try to do it without first, and create a plan that offers some skill building with the goal of your kids being able to sit through a 45 minute meal at a family restaurant. That's it, it's a very reasonable goal and a life skill that will be essential to your child for the rest of their life. If you still wind up pulling out the iPad sometimes after they finish eating or if they seem particularly antsy or difficult at a specific meal, fine. But don't start with the plan of "we will go to dinner and you will have the iPad the whole time so that you don't even have to try to function at this event." Don't sell your kid out like that. Try harder.[/quote]

+1. If anything I would go out *more* frequently to build those skills. [/quote]

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