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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're not gonna like this, but people only continue this behavior in environments that allow them to continue this behavior.

Leave. Don't even have a conversation about it. What pp suggested upthread about setting a boundary that's about what you do for yourself if/when this happens (again) is correct, but your immature asshat spouse doesn't need to hear that upfront. Just get your kid and leave.

When you come back, ask him if he's ready to have a civil, adult conversation. If he appears able, THEN you explain and clearly delineate the boundary. This way, he knows you mean it. It's not a threat; you've already done it. You're just taking the time to explain that it WILL happen again if/when he treats you like crap.

Never beg someone to treat you better. It's part of the game. Don't play. Just leave.[/quote]

PP who mentioned boundaries. I think it's fair not to say it up front. To me (currently in a separation from a verbal/emotional abuse situation) I always feel better about my boundaries when they're out in the open before I enforce them. I've even heard it can be good to write down what you want to say and read it so you get it in that non-judgemental "this is what I need" way.

And OP - if you have kids plural doing this is flipping hard. I never figured out how to leave mid-fight after my kids had gone to bed. That meant when my boundaries were crossed I had to way up the ante and one of us had to move out.[/quote]

Yes, I'm PP who said I"m working to get out of a similar situation and it is really tough when you have a vulnerable child at home. I think my DH used that to his advantage- he would scream and yell and then just disappear, always knowing that I wouldn't leave my child alone at night, or without a ride to school, or whatever. His blow-ups were always timed just after bedtime or just before we both had to be somewhere. It's a ruthlessly efficient way of controlling and abusing someone. [/quote]

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