Reply to Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?

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Reply to "Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Lots of monogamous relationships don’t work out, either. And LOTS of “monogamous” relationships aren’t truly monogamous (bc someone cheats).

Adding more people adds more complications; for sure. But to me, monogamy also feels dangerously unstable… it’s so easy to have a crush on someone you aren’t married to and don’t have to actually live with and coparent with. And think that because that relationship is easier/more fun; you are meant to be with them. How many men leave for affair partners and then end up married to AP and realizing actually she’s not a perfect magical soulmate bc life/relationships are hard?

I think something monogam-ish seems most stable long term. Lets you prioritize your marriage/relationship but also not expect one person to meet every need forever. Allows you to chase a crush once in a while until it naturally ends which most do. And probably is closest to what “successful” marriages have actually looked like for most of history. Though I’d prefer honesty (with respectful discretion) over lying/looking the other way. [/quote]

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